Elizabeth Fournier2019-05-09T19:36:09+00:00

Full Disclosure: Elizabeth has made the mistake of giving Priestley free reign to write her bio.

Elizabeth Fournier was just a small town girl who was living in a lonely world, until one midnight when she made the decision to board a train…going anywhere.  She found herself  surrounded by the smell of wine and sweet perfume.  She kept believing and started on a journey.

She got bored and got off the train in Los Angeles.

Some interesting tidbits about Elizabeth:

Born “Elizabeth Fortnite,” she changed her name due to a long cease to desist legal battle with video game producers at Epic.

She chose “Fournier” as her new name, although it literally translates to a type of necrotizing fasciitis or gangrene. (I cant make this stuff up, look it up!)

Although her accent is dead-on Jersey, she’ll try to convince you she’s from Brooklyn or something.

Out of hundreds of Instagram pics, the one above was literally like one of 3 that didn’t contain something seriously offensive. (Unless you’re offended by  pictures of drunk people who lose their balance when intoxicated beyond the legal threshold.)

She wanted her bio to resemble Wonder Woman’s, but I find it hard to believe that a role-model for little girls would flip off the camera in 86% of her pictures (no, seriously, we did the math.)

If you’re a telemarketer, refrain from calling her . (I got to hear every word of the last call go down…and I was 3 offices  and  a huge insulated wall away…it wasn’t pretty).

She isn’t very good at ice skating, drunk.

In lieu of cash, she has chosen to be paid in wine