Rebel Coast Winery needs a Broker!


With that being said we are in need of Sales Assassins in the form of Brokers for the MidWest (Iowa, Oklahoma, Missouri, Kansas), The South (Georgia, Texas, Alabama, Florida, Tennessee), and The Mountain West (Colorado, Arizona, Nevada). We have meh relationships with top-tier distributors in these states and want to get un-lost in their books. We love this shit, but can be in so many places at once, that is, until we successfully clone Doug. In which case the PSA will go out like an AMBER alert, and all fathers will have to hide their daughters, or ex-wives….

But in all seriousness, we know what it takes to be a road warrior, we love GSM’s and Trade tastings and partying after, we just don’t have the time to give each distributor the attention they deserve. We sold 15k cases last year (mainly Southern California), and Chip and I need help getting it to 25 next year.

We will hook it up on samples and bill back and will work with you if you can get the distributors to loosen their purse strings and split some incentives with us.


Here are the details:

First, the money: You will be working on a 15% commission for total sales for the whole state, we have current orders coming in, we just want mo. I think 15% is pretty standard right? No joke if it's not, email me, this is our first time hiring a broker.

Second, Pay Day: We pay you when we get paid, boom. Not sure if that’s normal or not but it seems fair. 

Third, Bonus you say?: That’s right, setting goals and hitting them = Mas Money! (Goals will be discussed on a per state).

Fourth, Another Bonus?: Yup, we’ll hang out a lot, we love getting on planes, faking Australian accents and taking our clothes off at GSM’s. We think that’s a bonus.

Fifth, Requirements: You must be a BROKER, meaning you have a portfolio. We want to see a noncompeting list of the top wines you confidently sell. We are talking sales numbers from the year before, and a minimum of 2 references from your current suppliers.

I already know we are going to get resumes from folks that want to come and sell JUST our wines. Which is fucking awesome, you want to help us build something massive, but like my grandpa use to say “We is po”.   Honestly, we can’t pay a full-timers salary to just sell wine in, like, Ohio. That, and we are shit at managing employees, we’ve learned it’s just not a thing we are good at. So there, we are only looking for BROKERS. It is with tremendous fear of all the unqualified people who are going to make me read 100’s of shit resumes that I do this, but here is the email:

If you still shotgun off a resume, don’t expect a nice reply email saying: “We appreciate your blah blah blah, and we regret to inform you that blah blah blah”. We don’t have an HR team, but we do have a prepaid account with and we are in no way mature enough to not use it. Your dumb ass will probably not even send a tailored cover letter, and probably not read this, and defiantly leave your address on the header, so guess what? Yep; quart of gorilla shit sent right to your door.

On to the Cliff Notes, let’s review.

  1. We already have all our wines approved in the states, and we already have visited each of them and done multiple GSM’s and ride withs.

  2. Most of the chain accounts have approved us, and we have lots of faithful followers of Rebel Coast.

  3. Dishing out OTPHJ’s to our distributors will be your number one priority so here they are.

    1. Colorado – RNDC/Sojourner

    2. Arizona – Action

    3. Nevada – Sapphire/Revel

    4. Iowa – Southern Glazers

    5. Oklahoma – Provisions

    6. Kansas – Worldwide Wine & Spirits

    7. Missouri – Major Brands

    8. Georgia – RNDC

    9. Alabama – Alabama Crown

    10. Texas – Southern Glazers

    11. Florida – RNDC

    12. Tennessee – Ajax Turner / Knoxville Bev.

If you think you have what it takes to sling Rebel Coast juice in your states, then email the address we hid in the text above. Oh oh oh, and the Marijuana infused wine cant go over state lines, so we are only selling it in CA, meaning we don't need a broker for it :(